Me too!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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