Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize