Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
