Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
