he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
