He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
