Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize