your room smells of hookers.
And success
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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