it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
