remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
MIDGETS
????
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
