i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
