the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
