Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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