What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
