i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
