Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
