The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
