Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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