you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
