and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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