it wasn't lemon gatorade
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
