i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i think i have two assholes
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
