You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
