Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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