There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So much rum. So many feels.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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