Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
