If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
