and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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