I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
