im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
