Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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