I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
