I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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