I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
