He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
