Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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