Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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