she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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