i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
