I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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