I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
