Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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