Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
