tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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