Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
