she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
