I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize