I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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