you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize