dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize