fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
