I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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