Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize