Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
handjob tips. give me some.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
