the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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