I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
