Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I need moral support for this bender
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
