At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
