my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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