Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
