Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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