I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
