This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
