I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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