Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
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