My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize