I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
