The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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