I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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