I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
