I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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