You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
