no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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