I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
