windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
